Go see "Pay It Forward". If this doesn't generate Oscars, I'll have to go find the judges and administer some beatings.
<spoiler>Guvf svyz unf gur rzbgvbany vzcnpg
bs n fyrqtrunzzre. V ernyyl qvqa'g unir nal rkcrpgngvbaf tbvat
vagb gur svyz, bgure guna gung gur pbasyvpg nyyhqrq gb va gur
genvyref orgjrra Neyrar naq Ze. Fvzbarg (V qba'g ernyyl guvax bs
uvz nf "Rhtrar") znqr vg cbffvoyr gung guvf jbhyqa'g or nf
purrfl nf gur cerzvfr vzcyvrq.
Gur cybg jnf rkpryyragyl qrirybcrq, rfcrpvnyyl gur jnl gur fgbel bs Fvzbarg'f nohfvir sngure jnf erirnyrq. Va zbfg pnfrf, gurer jvyy or sberfunqbjvat be yvggyr uvagf bs jung vf gb pbzr, ohg V gehyl qvqa'g fhfcrpg guvf ng nyy hagvy nobhg 20 frpbaqf orsber ur erirnyrq vg, jura vg jnf cnvashyyl boivbhf.
Guvf unccrarq ntnva, evtug gbjneq gur raq, ohg bayl jura gur 2 nqhygf fgnegrq senagvpnyyl ehaavat qbja gur fgnvef. Guvf fbeg bs guvat vf fgvyy fbzrjung pyvpuéq, ohg vg freirf gur checbfr bs chggvat gung yvggyr srryvat bs qbbz evtug va gur cvg bs lbhe fgbznpu. Vg'f ener gung zbivrznxref unir gur thgf gb unir guvf xvaq bs na raqvat; gur ynfg zbivr V'ir frra jvgu guvf yriry bs dhnyvgl jnf "Nzrevpna Uvfgbel K". Abg gung V'q yvxr fhqqra gentvp raqvatf gb orpbzr gur arj fgnaqneq, lbh haqrefgnaq.
Gur npgvat jnf rfcrpvnyyl tbbq. V'ir nyjnlf ybirq Uryra Uhag'f punenpgre va "Znq Nobhg Lbh", naq nygubhtu fur pregnvayl jnfa'g glcrpnfg, n ybg bs ure havdhr punenpgre fgvyy fubjrq. Unyrl Wbry Bfzrag vf, V guvax, gur bayl aba-cngurgvp puvyq npgbe V'ir rire frra. Wnxr Yyblq pnzr pybfr, ohg naablvat yvarf yvxr "Ohg lbh cebzvfrq!" ("Wvatyr Nyy gur Jnl") naq "V'z n crefba!" ("Gur Cunagbz Zranpr") qebccrq zl bcvavba bs uvz dhvgr n ovg (nygubhtu va nyy snvearff, gubfr jrer cebonoyl gur qverpgbef' snhyg). V'ir urneq gur nppbynqrf urncrq hcba Xriva Fcnprl, ohg fvapr V'ir arire frra "Nzrevpna Ornhgl" V pbhyqa'g ernyyl whqtr gurz. Ur yvirq hc gb nyy V'ir urneq.
N srj svany abgrf: V graq gb ungr zbivrf gung punatr punenpgref naq cybg cbvagf nebhaq ("Whenffvp Cnex", nalbar?), ohg guvf frrzrq gb qb bxnl. Bs pbhefr, V unira'g ernq gur obbx, fb V pna'g ernyyl fnl, ohg gur zbivr frrzrq gb fgnaq ba vgf bja snveyl jryy. Gur pbairetvat cybgf jrer erzvavfprag bs Pelcgbabzvpba, naq unaqyrq avpryl. V guvax gurl qvq n znfgreshy wbo bs oyraqvat rzbgvbany zbzragf (gur ebznapr orgjrra Fvzbargr naq Neyrar, phevbfvgl ertneqvat Fvzbargr'f oheaf, vaqvtangvba naq cevqr jura Fvzbargr orngf hc gur crqrenfg va gur ohf fgngvba naq jura Geribe znxrf uvf sngrshy nggnpx hcba gur ohyyvrf, naq bs pbhefr gur gentvp raqvat).
Bar bgure guvat: V ynhturq ng gung arjf napube: "Jr abj unir ng
yrnfg 12 pbasvezrq vapvqragf bs cnl vg sbejneq..." Yvxr vg jnf
na Robyn bhgoernx be fbzrguvat. Fb gehr gubhtu. Gur zrqvn unf
gb ghea rirelguvat vagb na hetrag
Oh, apparently "The Matrix" got sold out or something. Stupid Moviefone must die.
The big toe on my left foot is oozing blood. It got ingrown and infected some time ago, and had progressed to the point where I couldn't walk any distance without limping, and bumping it made me feel like cutting my foot off to stop the pain, so Monday I went to the doctor and let them operate on it.
I'd undergone this several times before, on the big toes of both feet. It involves the doctor pumping your foot full of some moderately successful painkilling fluid, then cutting away part or all of the nail. The injection can be done one of two ways. The first is to just jab the needle in and squirt it all in at once, causing several seconds of the most intense pain imaginable. The second is to jab the needle in and squirt it in slowly, causing pain that is almost the most intense imaginable for a long time. My doctor chose the second method.
Once the toe wasn't feeling much pain (they don't actually numb the toe), she picked up some small scissors and sliced away the top of my toe on one side. "That was my flesh!" I yelped. She just said "you don't need that flesh" and did the same on the other side. So I lay back and let her cut me.
Most of it was okay; there was minimal pain as I felt her clipping down the nail, but then I did this gasping thing, because apparently it's really hard to numb the nerves at the base of the toenail. As she dug around with the scissors, she asked me what it felt like, so I told her through clenched teeth that it felt like someone was stabbing a sharp bamboo stake right into the base of my toenail. I swear she giggled at that. Apparently most of her patients aren't entirely coherent by that point.
So once she repeated the process on the other side of my toe, we were done. They shoved some wooden sticks with cotton on the ends way deep into the wounds and twisted them around, and then she wrote me a prescription for some narcotics. Before I left, she told me that if a scab formed, I should "scrub it away". Yippee.
So I hobbled outside and over to the other building and stood in line for 20 minutes to get my drugs, while blood and feeling rushed into my toe. Then I realized I had left my shoe in the operating room.
Once I got back home, I stayed at home for several days, kept my foot elevated, and did some coding. Several things had been happening parallel to this whole adventure, though:
My DSL bill was due, and although I get to expense my Internet connection, I have to put it on my debit card first. This being the first bill, it included things like setup and hardware fees, plus another month of service. I made the payment, but it didn't show up in my account.
I also found several old paychecks from Sun that I had never done anything with, so I deposited them. I kept checking my account through Wells Fargo's online banking interface, just to make sure that the funds actually cleared. Sure enough, after some time, they bumped up my balance, one after the other. I was happy, and paid my rent.
Several days later, I discovered the check that I had mailed to my landlord, so I called them up and they told me there was no problem, I just had to add a $25 late fee. Which I did.
Yesterday I checked my account and discovered that the money from my old paychecks had been taken out of my account. I called Wells Fargo, and they gave me the extremely unobvious answer that "something went wrong with the deposit". I'm forced to wonder what that time was for when I couldn't use the money, and I'm sure dealing with Sun's payroll department as a former employee will be loads of fun.
I just looked again and found that the hefty sum from the DSL installation had finally been deducted from my account. I haven't gotten reimbursed yet. My landlord is going to deposit my check later today. And it is going to bounce.
I pondered this and ate some pancakes.
Okay, it appears that for no apparent reason, Wells Fargo decided to put the money back into my account yesterday. Really, folks, I only keep Wells Fargo around because they provide conversation fodder. If you are after a bank that provides any sort of service, I suggest you look elsewhere.
I went and saw "The Matrix" on the Metreon's IMAX screen last night. Truly a thing of beauty, and the scenes at the beginning with all the green glyphs made me wish for a six-story SVGA screen of my very own.
Several things amused me about this experience. The first was that while I was waiting in line, some guy and two teenaged-looking girls started talking about the effects the movie would have had on the population before movies had first appeared. I lurked for a while, this being quite an interesting discussion, but then the guy said, "Asimov said this thing, that if technology became advanced enough, it would appear to be magic."
"Arthur C. Clarke," I interjected.
"That was Arthur C. Clarke, not Isaac Asimov, that said that."
"Oh. Yes, you're right. Absolutely. Arthur C. Clarke, not Asimov." The girls giggled in unison.
After the seating started, I found a nice seat in the exact center of every axis and stayed there. This guy walked up and started having a conversation with the three guys sitting in front of me. He had apparently worked at Sun, and they either worked for Sun or knew quite a few details of its internal operations.
"Yeah, so I'm going to be working for iPlanet, it looks like", he said.
The three guys laughed. "Are you actually going to work for Sun, or Xerox? Because Sun is outsourcing all its IT stuff."
"No, it'll be Xerox. No way I'm working for Sun." Then there was much insulting of Sun, Sun's infrastructure, something called ESI, and some guy named Richard Chavez. Or perhaps David Chavez. "I have no loyalty to these people. Once I'm hired, I'm going to wreak so much havoc. I'm gonna screw everyone over. Especially Chavez. I hate that guy, but I'm screwing everyone over."
I found it amusing that he chose to announce this mission to a theater full of people, and that they didn't notice me sitting there, wearing my jacket with the Sun Microsystems logo on the front. I bet he'd never guess I'd put this on the Web.
Then he left, and there was much insulting of Unix. "I'm never learning Unix. Unless they absolutely make me, I refuse to learn Unix. I don't need it for my job. Unix makes baby Jesus cry."
One of the three said, "Do you know how many times my Linux machine has crashed? Zero. Do you know how many times my Win2K machine has given me a BSOD in the past month? Six."
"I refuse to believe that. What are you running?"
"I just use it for Web browsing. You mean the memory-managed, multitasking, protected mode operating system can be crashed by a single program?"
"That's only if the program's badly written!"
Last modified: Sun Nov 12 05:48:03 PST 2000